So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
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