I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
