Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
I think my nap took me to another dimension
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
Randomize
