Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
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