mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
