bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
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