Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
