Someone shit on the floor
I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
Randomize
