smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
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