He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
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