so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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