He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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