no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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