batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
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