I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
Terrible idea I love it
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
