the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
I am midnight drunk by noon
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
Randomize
