Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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