Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
I have surprise drugs for everyone
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
Randomize
