you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Randomize
