Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Randomize