we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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