"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Randomize
