My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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