just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
