Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Randomize
