I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
