I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Randomize
