Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
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