Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
