and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
Randomize
