What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Randomize
