Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
Randomize
