Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
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