google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
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