so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Randomize
