its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
