did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Randomize
