When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
