She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
Randomize
