I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
