Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
Randomize
