Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
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