You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
Can you bring me the toilet please
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
Randomize
