Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
