A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
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