dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
