did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
