Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
Randomize