So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
Randomize
