wanna go halves on a baby?
Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
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