Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
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