I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
Randomize
