Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Randomize
