she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
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