Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
Randomize
