fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
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