i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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