She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
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