Whod you bang
I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
Randomize
