Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
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