I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
