I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
Randomize
