I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
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