I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
COCAINE IS GR8
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
Randomize
