You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
