i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
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