Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
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