How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
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