Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
Randomize
