I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
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