if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
