I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
